I wonder sometimes, how people can be so fortunate in how their life plays out. Even though it’s been only a little over 19 years, I feel like I have acquired such great blessings that most people don’t receive in their lifetime. I get so much for giving back so little. It’s not that I don’t try and put effort back into my own community and surroundings, but I feel like it just isn’t enough. I get selfish sometimes, and sometimes even appallingly greedy. But…I guess that is also just apart of life. To enjoy and work for what you want, not just for others. I live a life where I have the opportunity to do whatever I pretty much want with my life, yet others have their lives planned for them from day one. Sometimes, I just want the attention here and there from certain people when there are so many others that give me enough attention then I need, yet I don’t notice them. My life is filled with so many great things, and great people that sometimes, I’m glad I can sit down at times like these and just reminisce about how thankful I am for the people around me. I just my life is just unexpected based off of what I thought it would be like from a more childish mindset.
It’s always the same two dam responses when I say computer engineering. “Oh, you are so smart” or “oh, I can’t do that, I don’t wanna be stuck in front of a computer for the rest of my life doing the same thing over and over.” First of all, I hate being put on a higher pedestal then others, thinking that just cause it deals with computers, that I’m smarter then others. Hell. No. I find myself less then average in college, especially since I’m not the best in my CSE classes at all. I go to college to get an education, and I just happened to choose computer engineering. It truthfully is as hard as you make it to be. I went into the major knowing absolutely nothing about programming. I really don’t know why it bugs me so much, but it just does. ugh. I ain’t smart just cause of the dam major I chose. I should just say “I’m gonna be a doctor” and truthfully, no one thinks you’re smart, just that you are gonna be rich. It’s true, probably cause half of college students are “pre-med” then end up dropping out anyways.
To the 2nd response, the reason I chose computer engineering is so I DON’T do the same thing over and over again for the rest of my life. People don’t get that computer engineering is not computer science. My job isn’t to sit on my ass and program or decode stuff. Yes, I need to know it, no I don’t need to be a hacker who sits in a basement messing with the government. Computer engineering to me brings to me so many opportunities that I can literally do ANYTHING other then programming if I wanted too. I can build the next Apple revolution, or come up with the next 5G smartphone internet. I can build a basic app for your phone that is life changing, or build a super computer that will take over the world. I can design and INTEGRATE my programming knowledge into a finished product.
Iono, this is just a late night rant because it has been bugging me for some time. I love my major, but it’s annoying when I always get these responses.